This blog post is written as a challenge…

It’s challenging how we typically think about “Baby Shower Registries”, it’s challenging the mass marketing directed at mothers lying to them that in order to be successful at motherhood they need these 150 baby products, devices, outfits and a perfectly designed nursery. Yes, you need some diapers, some clothes, a car seat etc, but what your baby needs FAR and above anything else is for their mother to be WELL, whole, nurtured and deeply cared for. At the very least I challenge people to add a few of these things onto a typical baby shower registry. Better yet, I challenge you to shop second-hand for baby supplies, or borrow things from friends with older kids which will save you hundreds of dollars–and to build an entirely mother focused registry. Or, if you’re reading this as someone looking for a gift for a new mother in your life, I challenge you do not buy a single adorable piece of clothing for that sweet new baby and pick a few things off of this list instead.

This blog post also comes with a huge disclaimer:

I compiled this post a little bit tongue-in-cheek. Mothers don’t need most of these products in order to be well, whole, nurtured and deeply cared for. You could get the luxurious peri-bottle I listed, or you could use the way less bougie one they give you at the hospital or that comes in a home-birth kit and that would work just fine too. You don’t need fresh, crisp linen sheets in order to have a beautiful entry into motherhood, (although it does sound like an absolute dream) what you do really need is in the last section I’ve listed under “Supportive gifts of time/services”. All of the lovely products in the world won’t make up for a lack of support and community, which should always be the highest priority.

I’ll stop disclaiming my own post now and encourage you to support yourself or someone else with some of the recommendations below. New moms deserve support yes, but also beautiful, sumptuous and supportive things as I’ve categorized below!

Breastfeeding:

Silverettes nipple soothers LINK
Happy Ducts Lactation Support tincture by Wishgarden LINK
Nursing Bras! A word of advice on nursing bras as a Breastfeeding Counselor I recommend avoiding the wrap style nursing bras that push to the side as that can cause clogged ducts and lead to mastitis unfortunately. There are many other good styles, I’ll link one here that looks nice but definitely shop around for what you think would best suit you. LINK
Reusable Nursing Pads for the times your clothes need a little protection from leaking milk. These ones are non-slip and look incredible! LINK
Hot water bottle - this can be used as a breast warmer to help support any potentially clogged ducts, it can also be very comforting for after-birth pains, back aches, helping warm your empty-feeling tummy and easing any other ache or pain you might have postpartum. A good old fashioned hot water bottle cures so much and is so easy to use! LINK
Earth Mama Nipple Butter - Again, another note as a Breastfeeding Counselor, a nipple balm like this can be useful for keeping your nipples hydrated, the first few days of breastfeeding can feel a little tender and that’s normal. What is NOT normal is really painful, cracked or bleeding nipples. If this happens, yes use some nipple butter, but more importantly get some in-person breastfeeding support asap! Cracked/bleeding nipples are a sign that your baby’s latch needs to be adjusted, you should never be in pain while breastfeeding! LINK
Ask for a breastfeeding class and lactation support! Either a cash fund towards it, or an online class (although I prefer in person teaching if possible). If you’re local to Traverse City Area, get in touch with me and I can direct you to some amazing local lactation support!

Comfort:

Organic Cotton underwear - seriously new underwear postpartum is the absolute best! If I were being gifted underwear I’d want these from Shop Arq Link
“Period” Underwear are perfect for postpartum bleeding when it slows off after a few days! This is a postpartum specific set from Thinx that includes a comfy pair of sleep shorts that is so comfy for postpartum and easy to wash LINK
A new pair of cozy socks - Organic cotton like these LINK or wool ones like these LINK
A new robe! I love this Cloud Cotton Robe from Parachute LINK or this Waffle Robe LINK
New sheets some organic cotton ones from Target will do, LINK or if you want to really spoil yourself or another mom, a set of linen sheets would be absolutely divine postpartum. Anything to make your bed as cozy and sumptuous as possible so you WANT to rest in it! Here’s a helpful article on the best linen sheets to choose from! LINK
Any kind of stretchy, cozy pants or pajamas. Postpartum leggings like these from Blanqi are extra supportive LINK Or whatever cozy kind of sweats you know you’d love. It’s ok to get a size or more bigger than what you were pre-pregnancy, your body is going to be changing and adjusting still from being pregnant!
A white noise machine is a great way to help support your sleep postpartum. When you are as high on oxytocin as you should be during postpartum, it actually changes the way you sleep! Oxytocin causes you to be more alert while sleeping, so you might notice that you wake up much easier to little sounds so you can be there for your baby and respond as needed. The downside of this is that other non-baby related sounds can disturb your sleep. I recommend white noise machines to help cover a little bit of sound to help you rest more fully. We’ve had this one for over 6 years and still love it! LINK
A fresh bar of soap, balm, scrub, face oil or clean ingredient spa item. Order from Thistle and Grey for the best quality and really beautiful products! LINK
A really nice water bottle to have on hand for all the hydration that’s required for postpartum! I like glass like this one LINK, or stainless steel ones like Klean Kanteen you can drink from one handed while breastfeeding and/or laying down.
A sleep mask is great for napping during the day, which I highly encourage you to do! I know there will be people who say “I’m not good at napping”. Even so, having a quiet time to be able to close your eyes and fully rest, with or without sleep goes a long way! This linen one looks lovely, but there’s many fun ones out there, or if you’re a sewer that would be a fun project too! LINK

Nourishing:

Really good quality organic Dark Chocolate like this LINK. Dark chocolate helps promote oxytocin and contains beneficial minerals that help support you and baby postpartum.
Earth Mama Organic Periodic Tea - A comforting and delicious blend of herbs and cinnamon traditionally used for postpartum support LINK
Gift cards to a local co-op or grocery store are amazing! Also gift cards for local restaurants that deliver or a meal kit service like blue apron for a supportive partner to cook for the family could be helpful too!
A subscription or gift card to Daily Harvest which has so many great smoothie and meal options to stock the freezer with easy-to-prep things! LINK
Agni - The Mama Box: from their description: “This box is intended to refill mama’s cup and support her through endless feedings, night wakings, and fussy hours. It contains 24 ingredients specifically chosen to support digestion, breast milk production, restful sleep, immune health, and hormone balance.” LINK
There are many studies showing that protein needs are high during postpartum and for breastfeeding women especially. At least 60 grams a day! I love these Epic Brand meat bites for something easy and high in protein to snack on along with a piece of fruit. Epic has a lot of other great products too, I wouldn’t mind being gifted a jar of duck fat or mineral rich tallow in a postpartum snack kit! LINK for beef bites.
Bone broth is one of my go-tos for all stages of life, but certainly pregnancy and postpartum! You can get bone broth ready to pull from the freezer delivered to someone from Brodo LINK I love chicken broth for times like these, great for collagen, bone health and drinking a mug is a really easy one handed and nourishing snack for a new mom!

Books:

Village for Mama Postpartum Recipe Book - Description: “A postpartum recipe book with recipe gift cards to help modern mamas gather their village and organise homemade meal giving for their fourth trimester.” LINK
Nouris(her) Doula E-cookbook - Description: “Harnessing the power of food is one of the most simple steps you can take towards achieving a more peaceful postpartum. Within this book are 27 thoughtfully written, and beautifully photographed dishes that will help you to heal faster, and overcome postpartum suffering with ancient food as medicine” LINK
The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother LINK
Kept: Childhood, A History - Description: “We designed this book for parents who want a simple, non-overwhelming way to capture the most meaningful moments from their child’s life” LINK
Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood―and Trusting Yourself and Your Body. LINK
If you are a big reader, a Kindle reader might be a great registry item for yourself! Something you can set by your breastfeeding nook and be able to easily hold and “turn pages” with one hand! LINK Or maybe you’re really into audiobooks and would love an audible subscription so you can listen while you rest and nurse!

Kits:

Mother Mother - The Essential Postpartum Recovery Kit LINK
Nemah - New Mama’s Essentials Kit: Stretch Mark Cream, Renewing Balm, Restorative Scar Treatment LINK
Bodily - Care for Birth Box Includes things like a peri-bottle, mesh undies, balm etc LINK
Bodily also has a kit specific for scheduled c-sections so you can get specifically what you need to recover from a surgical birth - love it! LINK

Healing:

Afterease tincture by Wishgarden - Support against the discomfort caused by cramping after birth LINK
Herbal Bath or Sitz bath: “This Herbal Afterbirth Bath can be used to aid in healing of Mom's tissues and baby's cord after birth. A loved recipe by many this bath provides comfort and healing after the work of birth in a natural, healthy way.” LINK
Magnesium Oil - Did you know magnesium is great for a number of postpartum symptoms including sleep support, regulating blood pressure and mood? This oil is lovely and easy to use, LINK or a simple magnesium salt is great too for nurturing postpartum baths LINK
Peri-bottle LINK along with one of my favorite products, Peri-Cleanse a lovely smelling blend of supportive and healing oils to add to your peri-bottle every time you visit the bathroom postpartum. LINK
Varying sizes of good quality pads to have on hand for postpartum bleeding is great. Everyone’s a little different, but it’s typically a short period of time that you need the really heavy flow pads, make sure you add in some lighter flow and panty liner sized ones too. Find a brand you like.

Other:

Beeswax candles - Candles are always so cozy and comforting, both things we want to embrace during the postpartum time! I prefer unscented 100% beeswax candles
The Mother Seed Affirmation cards LINK
The Doula Deck: Practices for Calm and Connection in Your Pregnancy, Birth, and New Motherhood LINK
Cash! Seriously, it might feel weird to accept or give cash gifts, but this can be so helpful. It might go to stocking up on pantry supplies to have on hand postpartum, a cleaning service, hiring lactation support, chiropractic, a postpartum massage, seeing a pelvic floor therapist, going to a postpartum yoga class, hiring childcare for older siblings postpartum or a million other things that new families need but might not be able to fund alone! An intentional gift of money can go a long ways!

Supportive gifts of Time/Services you can ask for or offer:

Ask someone to set up a meal train for you, or set one up for yourself–be bold! LINK
Pet-sitting is a big need for those who have dogs or another animal that needs tending to, especially in the first week or two. Ask a neighbor to take the dogs on daily walks, or maybe you have a friend that can pet-sit for you in their home for a time while you focus on baby and mother care.
In a similar line, if you have older siblings having a trusted person help with a little bit of childcare can be a huge support
House cleaning and laundry is a huge need during postpartum! Maybe you have a friend/family member that you can ask to come clean your house for you and remake your bed with fresh sheets while you’re in the hospital for labor/delivery. Coming home from the hospital to a clean house is a true gift. Or maybe having someone who’s willing to lend a hand come clean up your kitchen or if you’re really willing to get intimate clean your bathroom! I always encourage people to be bold and step into the vulnerability of truly asking for the help you need, or if you’re the support person, to truly OFFER exactly what you’re willing to do.
Send your friend your grocery list and venmo them afterwards. Or if you’re on your way to the store for yourself, text your postpartum friend to send you their list and drop it off for them!
There are a lot of appointments during the postpartum time for both mama and baby and unfortunately they can be very emotionally and physically taxing. Ask a friend or family member to accompany you on these appointments so you don’t have to lug around a heavy car seat or drive alone with the baby which can often be stressful.
A postpartum Doula! Contact me if you’re interested in gifting my services to someone or would like people to be able to donate towards receiving one of my packages! If you’re not in the area, I offer a long distance package or might be able to direct you to a postpartum doula that’s in your area too!

Mother Focused Registry