Motherhood has taught me so much about the seasonal nature of life…

Maybe it’s because the seasons change so rapidly and dramatically in motherhood; the contrast between each season is so heightened. Or maybe it’s because we have no choice but to slow down long enough to take better notice of each season, knowing it will soon be replaced by another. Whatever the reason, I feel I have been through a whirlwind of ever-changing seasons in the last 6 years of motherhood. The ebb and flow of each seasons is always bittersweet, as I say often, in each season there are hard parts and magic.

And here I find myself at the unfurling of another season in my journey. It feels like a big one, and it is certainly a bittersweet one.

I made the decision years ago that I wanted to home educate my children. I could talk on for hours about why we've made this decision and why I’m so passionate about home education, but I will spare you the details. I’ll limit myself to saying that the beautiful journey of education, of exploring the world around us, of delving into big ideas and of developing our own, of seeing my boys growing and changing and learning is one that, in every fiber of my being I want to be alongside them in. I want outdoor adventures and intimate studies and incredible living books read aloud around the kitchen table with mugs of tea. I want to learn alongside them and see their eyes glow with pride at their first stuttering words read on their own. And so, so much more.

This is a decision that I take very seriously and have been, for the last three years (and longer?) learning and growing and formulating my own big ideas on in preparation for officially starting our formal schooling.

The time is upon us! We start school this fall and it certainly feels like we’re on the cusp of a big transition into this next season.

You might be thinking “This is great, uhhhh why are you telling me?”

Maybe I’m procrastinating this part, because it feels like the “bitter” aspect to this season. I’ve always known that I can’t do everything. I’ve also always felt the conviction that first and foremost, my responsibility is to my family, to being able to feed myself (both literally and figuratively) so I can be everything I need to be. I feel the responsibility deeply of balancing all of my “roles” well so that they don’t all topple over, or so that one role isn’t causing me to neglect another one. I know that adding in the role of home educator is a very big addition, and one that I feel needs to take precedence above everything else–at least for a time. I know that it’s going to take a little bit for me to be able to find a balance in adding this new and big role and so:

I’m temporarily stepping away from my role of Postpartum Doula.

Of course, I’m only giving you the broad strokes of the picture, and there are a few other factors that are playing into this decision, but there you have it. I don’t yet know for how long this season will be, maybe 6 months, maybe a year? It depends on so much. Being in this space I have so often told clients “when you say ‘no’ to one thing, you actually say ‘yes’ to another” and I’m saying that to you now by means of modeling.

"No” to taking on clients for a time is me saying “yes” to refocusing my time and energy into the two little souls I’m coming alongside in this journey of education, and “yes” to taking care of myself and my needs along the way. Of course I could have just made this announcement of taking time away from this space without giving the “why”, but I want to set the example of the understanding that we cannot be and do everything as mothers, an example I think we need to see more of. When you say ‘no’ to one thing, you’re saying ‘yes’ to something else.

I’ve partly procrastinated making this announcement because it feels hard to say no, and partly because I have plans to leave you all with TOOLS to help support yourselves and to find other means of support in the area while I’m using my time and energy elsewhere. I wanted those tools to be ready for you when I made this announcement, but they are still in the works and I have had to turn down so many of you beautiful expecting mothers already without explanation so I felt I couldn’t put it off any longer.

1. I am reworking my postpartum planning guide which is a considerable resource I use with clients to be able to give access to everyone. This helps you learn how to navigate boundaries, lays out HOW to ask for help, helps connect couples entering into the role of parenthood together and so many other important things. I might even add a couple recipes to it. More info on that soon.

2. I’m also formulating a limited resources page with information for my most frequently referred to people in our community. Other incredible women that you can use to build your village.

3. A blog post is coming on “Ways to support yourself during postpartum”

All of those are coming soon and will be announced when ready. Meanwhile, you can follow along on instagram where I’ll still be sharing, and you can join my mailing list (see below) to get updates on when those two resources will be ready for you all.

Thank you so much to you all for being along in this journey. I feel so blessed to be able to be in all of the roles I am, and to have the ability to shift the balance as needed. So much love to you all, and last but not least, please reach out to me if you are looking for postpartum support. I can still help in some ways.