5 Simple Ways to Support a New Mom
There is so much genuine excitement around a new baby coming into the world—and for good reason! Whether you’re a good friend of the new mom, her mother-in-law or even the father, I have no doubt that you’re excited and want to help in some way. Often times it’s hard to know exactly how to be helpful in a more high-impact way than dropping off some onesies or diapers for the new baby (although there’s nothing wrong with that too!). Unfortunately new moms too often fall under the radar and are overlooked during all of the anticipation of cooing over a tiny new baby. Moms are undergoing HUGE physical/emotional and even spiritual transformation postpartum and need as much support as possible, both physical and emotional.
Below are 5 simple—and high impact—ways that you can help support a new mom:
Bring food: but make it really count!
Perhaps the most common way to support a new family is to bring food over to the new family. This is always a great idea and I definitely recommend it! Setting up a meal train is a great way to organize this, check out my in depth post “12 Tips to Make the Most of a Meal Train”, but meanwhile, I’ll give you a couple tips for bringing food over that can make this truly helpful for everyone.
Always work around any food preferences, sensitivities and allergies.
Not all food is equal for a new mom. A postpartum mom has given a lot of her body’s resources away and needs to build up nutrients lost during pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding (if she is). This means that the best meals for her include nutrient dense foods that are also easy to digest—think soft foods, roasted veggies, grain bowls, iron rich foods etc. If you want to invest in some incredible recipes specifically created for postpartum moms, I highly recommend an E-cookbook that I’ll link here which also makes a great postpartum gift for mom (bonus points if you buy her a copy and cook for her out of it!).
Think broader than dinners. Include things for the new mama to easily snack on that she can put next to her nursing spot, things they can easily serve for breakfast like granola with yogurt and fruit etc. Energy bites (get my recipe here), cut up veggies with a healthy dip, and warm, healthy baked goods (try and go light on the sugar) are all great options.
2. Don’t look at the baby first
As a mom of two myself, I know that the feeling of being a wrapper cast aside after the baby comes can be very real. There is SO much excitement and anticipation to meet the new baby, and rightly so as we’ve all been waiting months to meet them! No matter how good the intentions are though, it often happens that all that focus, attention and excitement around the baby leaves mom feeling almost invisible. When you come into a new mom’s room (or wherever she’s resting in all of her postpartum glory) I want you to consider trying some of the following things before officially meeting the baby:
Pause and take a deep breath before you see her. Postpartum is a sacred time and, while excitement is good and totally understandable, we want to respect the space and bring a calm presence with us.
Make eye contact with the new mom. This shows her that you are there to support her, that you know and respect that she has gone through the hardest thing she’ll ever do and you see and honor her fully.
Stop and give her a hug, sit down and squeeze her hand, or any other appropriate physical touch that shows her your support.
Ask if she needs any water/beverage or anything else before you settle down for a few minutes to be introduced to the baby.
3. Think about what you’re good at—and then take action
Everyone has something they’re good at. Maybe you’re not a great cook, but you’re great with kids and can offer to help with the new baby’s older siblings. Maybe you’re not a great cook, not great with kids, but you’re a total cleaning wizard and can schedule a good time for the new family for you to come spend an hour or two tidying up and scrubbing the bathroom. Maybe it’s winter time and they need their driveway shoveled—skip your gym day and go get some cardio and clear their driveway.
There is no act of service that is off limits to be able to help a new family out, don’t be shy about what you’re good at! The best thing you can possibly do for a new family is to proactively think about what skills you have to offer and then act on it! It’s the difference between “How can I help?” and “I’m heading to the park tomorrow morning, can I pick-up your toddlers for a playdate so you can rest?” The kind of support that shows action and initiative is truly life changing and will be a huuuuge blessing to you both, I promise!
4. give her space and still really show up
What kind of space each person needs postpartum is going to look very different depending on their circumstances. The best thing you can do is to ask what boundaries a new mom wants before the baby even comes! Make sure that you’re respecting a new family’s space, this is really important bonding and transition time for everyone and really important rest time for the new mama. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be showing up big still with food and other services like we just talked about; what I’m trying to say is don’t be a visitor. You can show up and still respect the time and give her space. Communication is key!
5. intentional Gifts for mom—less for baby
I’m not actually saying “don’t buy the baby anything,” by all means bring some tiny jumpers and a pack of diapers with you when you do eventually get to meet them. What I AM saying is don’t forget mom! A thought out gift for the new mama also, would show her that you see her, you value the transition that she’s undergoing, you understand that this can be a physically and emotionally uncomfortable time for her and you want to show your support. I’m going to list/link a few postpartum gifts that I recommend for new moms, but if you want to pick something out on your own, think anything that brings comfort and good feelings. New cozy sweatpants to lounge in, some beautiful wool socks if it’s cold weather, a book you know she’d love to read during all the hours she’s about to spend breastfeeding and resting etc.
This is not an extensive list, but some things I recommend are:
Good quality chocolate—I love Grocer’s Daughter which is also local to Traverse City area where I’m from.
Really exceptional underwear and nursing bras. I’ve heard really good things about this brand.
A postpartum journal to keep all of the complicated thoughts and feelings that come with a new baby. Definitely get Together We Mother’s beautiful journal.
Any kind of beautiful spa item to be pampered with. New chapstick, an herbal bath, facial, or even a new bar of soap! I love Thistle and Grey for beautifully presented things to pamper and this is the herbal bath I use for my own clients.
I can’t make a list of gifts for new moms and not give myself a plug! If you want to band up with some other friends and family to finance a postpartum doula for someone—wow this is the ultimate dream gift—you can contact me here to inquire about how to gift a postpartum package, or search your own area for an amazing postpartum doula to really show your support!